Tell her she can't have a vagina
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
