Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
