Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
