Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
