Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
