hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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