4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
