I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
