dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
