oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
