We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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