so that wasnt chicken after all
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
