how do flat chested girls get laid?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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