Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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