i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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