you're like a bully in the Christmas story
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
