return my video game
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
