Me too!
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
