we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
