i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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