And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You are a genius and a whore.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
