Duck Duck Cougar?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
