Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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