TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
