I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
What a dumb baby whore.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
