saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
