you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
