I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
