Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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