I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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