I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
