let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
