he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
