If that was your dad, he is hot
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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