1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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