You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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