peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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