Your tits are I can't wait for
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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