Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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