Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
