Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
