who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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