The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
