that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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