WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you have to choose: penises or morals?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
