You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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