I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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