Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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