i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
