He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
